Dear Weslie.

(A letter I wanted to write to a fellow blogger, Weslie about *my* view on her and her blog. If you have never read it, it is one that you don't want to miss. Love Chugs Blog)

Dear Weslie,

I am not sure why but after reading your latest blog post I had random thoughts that kept creeping into my mind and I had the feeling that I should share my thoughts with you. I was going to write this in your comments, but I am not good at keeping things short and as I thought about it, there is an underlying message that I want to share this with my readers.

I have been following your blog for a little over a year. 

There are 3 distinct things that have actually changed my life and that I live by.

#1- Corn Starch and Cocoa Powder. Holy crap. (seriously, life changer)

#2- At night I recite with my boys a phrase that brought tears to my eyes when I read it. I changed it to fit our family but it is still the same with the same meaning and power.  

"Mommy loves you. Daddy loves you. Heavenly Father and Jesus love you. And who else loves you?" 

"ME!"

#3- Meditation. I have always wanted to meditate but wasnt exactly sure how to start. Something about your post (when asked about meditating) made me realize how simple it could be. So I started, I tried a few different ways and found one that works for me. It has become a time and a place that I cherish. I am a truly better person because of it. 

Weslie, I agree that the numbers (when it comes to popularity) don't matter. And I can totally understand the emotions that would  come with the yin and yang of your friends are families reaction to your blogs success. I also agree that you don't want to teach your girls to strive for irrelevant numbers and unimportant expectations that we foolishly put on ourselves.  But I don't think any of these things need to concern you, and here is why...

You have been given a gift and a platform. I truly believe that when you are given these two things there is something behind it. Maybe even a divine reason for it. 

It isn't about being "popular" ...

It is about touching people's lives. 

It is about being a force of good in this world.

Our world is quickly losing it's connection with one another and more importantly we are losing our connection with ourselves and with our higher power. We have more distractions, more screens, more competition, more negativity, more bully's, more confusion, more multi-tasking, more things to do/things to have and more sadness than ever before. We are so disconnected with ourselves that we literally try and hide from our own feelings. I actually read an interesting study recently saying that people are now reaching for their smart phones every time they start to feel an emotion that they don't want to feel. 

Your blog teaches people the importance of being real, having feelings, having connections with others, with oneself and with a higher power. It inspires and cultivates deeper thinking about life and meaning. But is still fun, relevant and makes you feel like you are talking to a close girlfriend. 

I truly believe that we are ALL called by a higher power to love, help, teach and serve. You are doing that for your readers. People are thirsty for what you have to offer and you are kindly giving their dry throats a drink. 

By believing that you have been blessed with a special gift and that you have been called to lead/teach/love; the numbers of readers and opinions of those around you won't matter. And more importantly, you will realize that you are teaching your girls the most important life lesson of all. The IMPORTANCE of doing good in the world. And that you can do good just by being yourself.

If ever you are ready to be done with the blogging world, by all means, be done. But don't ever stop sharing yourself and your light with the world. We need people like you.

I hope you don't mind me writing this. I appreciate your blog and the things that you have taught me.

Thanks, 

Megan 

“Each of us was born to fulfill a divine purpose. As we open our hearts and minds to a new way of being, the purpose of our lives unfolds organically.”  

                                 -Iyanla Vanzant

www.sweetsugarandbutter.blogspot.com

S

Wow. It is amazing how much I love this kid.

It literally brings me to my knees in humility and gratitude when I really take time to think about him and my role as his mom. 

5 on Friday: November 1st

Happy Friday Everyone. I hope everyone had a good Halloween.

1.

I can't believe it is November 1st! One thing I love about November is that it is Thanksgiving month. And quite often I try to be extra thankful on this month. Over the past year I have become a more thankful person in general so I am going to have to be extra diligent to become even more thankful this month. 

2.We had a great Halloween. It was my first kindergarten party as a party mom. I don't remember the last time I had so much fun. There is something so special about being around a whole bunch of kindergartners on a day like Halloween. I just love being a mom! 

Last night we ate dinner at my brothers house and then went trick-or-treating in their neighborhood. It was an awesome neighborhood and the kids had a blast.

3.Last week I wrote a post about feeling fat. Mini update: I have found some awesome mediation music I am using to help myself work through it. 

4.

I used to work at Disneyworld. I worked at the condiment stand in Cosmic Rays. I wore a gray and purple space suit. At 19, I left everything I knew to go out there for a semester. After my allotted "space days" were over they asked me to stay on as a princess. I was tempted but knew that if I didn't come home my boyfriend at the time {now husband} and I wouldn't survive. So I chose love and came home. And I am so glad I did. It was a lot of fun, and it has left me with a very special place in my heart for Disney.

5. I'm dying for some super cute, closed toe, lace-up wedges. I have horrible feet-- pain wise-- and so it always is a battle to find the perfect shoes but I am determined! Anyone try the TOMS wedges?

I feel fat.

I have a problem. 

I want to talk about it. 

I feel fat. 

Yesterday I bought a pair of size 2 jeans and in the past 8 months I've lost over 40 pounds. 

But I feel fat. 

When I was actively losing the weight I felt like a skinny mini. Every goal I hit along the way I felt skinnier and skinnier. When I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now, I felt much skinnier then I do at this weight, because I was so pumped to have lost the first 20+ lbs and to have my clothes be too big.

...but now that I am maintaining I don't feel that same skinniness. 

It is very strange, but I feel bigger than I did before I started losing weight. 

I know it sounds crazy. And I never thought that I would buy size 2 jeans and feel chubbier than I did when size 12's were tight. If someone would explain the logic to me, that would be fabulous.

Obviously there is no logic, and I think that I am getting a tiny glimpse into what those who struggle with eating disorders see: illusions of how they view themselves verses what is reality.

As I move forward in my weightloss journey, I feel worried that this mental image of myself is going to thwart all of my hard work. Thinking myself thin is how I lost the weight, so will thinking myself fat make me gain?!

Trust me, I'm not going to wait around and see. 

Through meditation and a little soul searching, I vow to get this figured out and break free from this skewed mental image of myself.

So what do you think? ... Can you tell which is my before and which is my after?? 

I still have things that I would like to work on (think: butt and thighs), and I would love to lose another 5-10 lbs. But even I can admit that there is a major difference in these pictures. My health and energy is much better, my moods are more stable, my skin and hair appears healthier, my ability to play, hike, climb and run has dramatically increased and my confidence has skyrocketed. Men run to open doors for me and women ask me a million questions as to *how* I lost weight. I KNOW that there is a difference. I have proof! So why do I *feel* bigger than picture #1 most days!? 

This makes me think a little deeper too... If I could have such an intensely altered image of something that I have physical proof of, what other negative things do I see in myself that aren't true? Am I holding myself back or cutting myself short somewhere because in my mind I see (or don't see) seething that is (or isn't) there?

What about you? Do you think you do this to yourself? 

5 on Friday: Oct 25th

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