Getting in Touch with Silence.

The past summer felt busy and ... (hmmmm, I don't know what word to put here) chaotic? No. I don't know if that is the word to describe it. Chaotic has a negative vibe to it and it was a great summer. We had a lot of fun, enjoyed doing our favorite summer activities and spent time with people we love. 

Let me start over...

The past summer was busy, loud and constantly in motion. With my husband working full time (at a ranch with troubled youth-- the epitome of chaos), going to school full time, having 2 curious and happy little boys, having a job myself and taking summer on as if it is a prize to be won it is no surprise that I feel busy.

And busy is good for me. I love busy. I love feeling like things are moving. I cannot stand feeling stagnant. Nothing makes me more crazy and bitchy than just sitting around when there are things that can be done. 

So, don't get me wrong. This "busy, loud and constantly in motion" summer is exactly how I love to spend my summer. Playing outside, swimming, hiking, baseball games, BBQ's, gardening, camping, mini vacations to Vegas, going to water parks, fishing, exploring, making new friends and keeping up traditions with old friends. 

But as I moved through summer I had a weird feeling that something was missing. Like there was something important I needed to do but kept putting off.

It was my soul is aching to be still and longing to be quiet. 

My meditation time and those little things I do to nourish and connect with my soul totally took a dive as I became busy with summer activities. I could feel it's absence... big time. It was like my soul was thirsty and I kept promising to give it a big luxurious drink but I kept feeding the superficial activity driven me instead. 

Meditating is something that I commited to practicing last fall. After years of dabbling in positive affirmations, law of attraction and meditation, I decided to take it on as a way of life. Through this simple act of working on my thoughts and internal perspective my life exploded into an array of colors so rich and bright that I couldn't believe it was the same life I had been living before I started. But it was, it is. 

As summer has slowly started to fade away and our days started changing from play mode to school (kindergarten and preK) mode I have started sneaking in time to mediate and write in a gratitude journal again. 

The effects are already seeping into my life.  I can't believe the difference. and I cant believe that I didn't force myself to take time for this over my favorite four month of the year. 

I vow next summer will be just as fun but I also vow I will not forget to take a few minutes for myself. The benefits are beyond priceless and something I don't want to go without ever again.